This summer has just went away, as I realized days became shorter and buses were more often delayed. It was hard for me to get up early, too.  

 

I've been pretty happy lately. Don't have a good reason for this good mood. But I have one excuse. That is, I've been through a lot this summer, and I have just been over them. Although everything does not turn out to be exactly the way I wanted, I am still happy.

It's been a week, while walking alone the road, in a quiet neighbourhood, looking at the sky, the trees and the houses around, even looking at the crows flying towards one direction--maybe they are going home all together, I feel happy. I feel peaceful , joy and satisfied deep in my heart.

 

Sometimes I think, why crows are so different from humans? For humans, we don't go home together, we get together to play, do work and eat--maybe, but we go to our own home for rest afterwards. Crows are not, they search food, fly and maybe just hung around by themselves, but they go home with other crows.

 

I am still lost. I don't know exactly what I want in the near future, either have I a good plan. I was just following my steps. One of my best friends told me not to follow my steps, but my heart. I know what does she mean. But isn't what my heart wants is the same as what I am doing now, or simply because I have so many desires that I can't rank them? Why shouldn't I think the thing I am doing now is actually useful and interesting, and eventually it will take me to the destination I always longed for?

 

I am quite free now, I can make whatever decision I want (just don't piss my mom off). Maybe this is the reason why I am so lost, I have too many choices all of a sudden. I could do so many things in the future, because no one is important enough to influence my decison--personal wise.

 

But my lazyness, will just look for excuses to make me want to settle down anywhere I could be as soon as possible. It seems that I need guidance, here is where god wanna enter my life and tell me what to do? Should I let God do that? I don't even know him, sorry......

Leave me alone....lol...

 

I have a plan now, probably not perfect, but I like it. I won't tell you until I have accomplished it.